When Seagulls Fly
by chiinoiserie
Summary: Yuuri dreads the day when he will finally make his formal debut into the debauched world of Shinmachi. But the sudden appearance of a foreign prince makes him feel things he has never felt before and make him long for a life outside the walled city. A Shinmachi AU where Yuuri is a courtesan-in-training at the red-light district and Victor is a young prince from the Russian empire.
1. First Night

Note of caution: Historical inaccuracies (and out of characterization) and typos abound. Please take all historical references and timelines with a grain of salt. **  
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* * *

 **Osaka, 1850's**

 _He fucking hated the cages._

 _He stood there, behind the wooden latticed window, frozen and unable to breathe. A flimsy barrier was all that stood between him and the nameless men with perverted leers carved on their lustful lips. Their ogling stares unashamedly undressed him with their eyes, running over every inch of his body from head to toe, knowing that with the right amount of money, they would be able to freely do so with their own hands._

 _Soon._

 _In a week's time._

Yuuri sat up on his futon with a small jolt. His arms flailed around the dark room, grasping at nothingness, chest heaving with painful gasps as if he were drowning and deprived of air. Small beads of sweat trickled down his face and throat and he distractedly wiped them away with the edge of his sleeve. He buried his face in his upturned knees, trying to steady his pounding heart. He curled into a small ball, arms wrapped around his legs and his hands rhythmically clenched and unclenched as each wave of terror washed over him.

If he closed his eyes, he could still see the red glow of the brothels… could still _smell_ the lust permeating the air thickly…

He scrunched up his face and groaned. He crawled on all fours and slid the door a fraction of an inch open. The faint rays of the setting sun tinted the sky into a haze of lavender hues and signalled yet the end of another day. Outside the walled district, the city streets were slowly filling up with people trudging their way back to their homes, work weary and eager to seek respite from the cloying summer heat.

But as daylight turned dimmer and the first flicker of stars dotted the skies, the enclosed district of Shinmachi merely started to stir from slumber, the bright glow of street lamps gradually illuminated the walkways leading through the area.

Yuuri had to force himself to turn away from the faint twinkling of stars. There was no time for that now—or any other night for that matter.

The brothel was a flurry of activity in preparation for the guests to come. Grudgingly, he stood up and changed into a simple black kimono with red inner linings. He haphazardly laced the ties at his side and padded out the door into the mildly chaotic clamour. There was no need to be perfectly presentable at this moment. Yuuko would probably have worked herself into a state by now, wondering where he was.

He knocked at Yuuko's door and silently made his way in, sliding the door shut with a dull thud.

"Yuuri~!" Yuuko whined from where she sat in front of the dressing table, filled to overflowing with makeup and powders and trinkets. She pouted red lips at him when he took his place by her side.

"Sorry I'm late, Yuuko-neechan," Yuuri murmured in a low voice.

Yuuko seemed to take in his slightly disheveled appearance and he ignored the unspoken question in her eyes. He picked up the obi where it lay folded on the wooden box and reached graceful arms around the older woman to deftly wrap it around her slim waist with experienced fingers.

"Just a bit tighter, Yuuri," she breathed out.

Yuuri flicked curious eyes at the head courtesan and their gazes met in the mirror.

"Hnn?"

A faint blush spread over the tips of her ears.

"Are we expecting any special guests tonight?" Yuuri teased as he placed the finishing touches to the obi, tugging to making sure everything was securely held in place. It was the middle of the week and Yuuko's patron usually frequented the brothel on the weekends.

"As a matter of fact," Yuuko murmured. She waited for the young man to take the bait, but at his answering silence, she sighed in defeat. Her charge was arguably either clueless or maybe he simply didn't give a damn in matters of the brothel. She desolately suspected it was the latter and she did not want to think about the implications now

"I actually have it on good authority that we are expecting a foreign prince tonight, Yuuri! A real Prince. Can you believe it?!" She could all but have blinded Yuuri with the sparkle in her eyes at the mention of royalty.

The lid of the wooden box Yuuri held clattered on the floor. Yuuri gaped at her for a long second as he processed the information, then shook his head laughingly, his lips pursed in a small smile.

"Onee-chan, there is a higher chance of my enormous debt being paid within the year than that of a foreigner being here in Ja—"

"Yuuri!"

The shoji slid open unceremoniously and Minami stumbled into the room then sank into a polite bow of apology in front of the two.

"Sorry for barging in all of a sudden. Minako-san asked me to check if you were ready yet."

"But I wasn't even supposed to be entertaining tonight...," Yuuri whined. He hated how he sounded so pitiful but he was supposed to help Yuuko get ready and then have a day off of sorts by helping to clean out the other rooms instead of attending to guests.

He still did not understand what was so appealing about him and why he would get no less than two requests on a regular night for his company.

"Sorry, Yuuri. Minako-san said she specifically wants you and Yuuko Onee-san to greet the guests who are arriving early tonight.

The young man huffed but he knew he did not really have a choice in the matter. His body was literally owned by the brothel for all the purposes it served.

"I will get ready," Yuuri sighed dejectedly.

He felt Yuuko touch his shoulder with concern.

"It's okay, Onee-san." The smile didn't quite reach Yuuri's eyes.

"I'll talk to you later okay? About...," her words trailed off as if she didn't know how to broach the subject.

And she didn't. Because those closest to Yuuri knew that it was a sensitive, and if he were completely honest with himself, a sore topic to speak about.

Minami scrambled to his feet and followed Yuuri out of the room to help him prepare for the evening.

Yuuri knows he cannot avoid it any further. The issue was like a phantom hovering behind him and wherever he went, eyes would follow him and whispers were exchanged in his wake. He pretended not to hear, not to notice, but as the date drew near, people seemed less inhibited and more prone to give in to their morbid curiosity, anything to stave off the boredom from daily life in a brothel.

 _Is that...?_

 _next week_ …?

 _Which lucky bastard?_

 _…..how much...?_

It was not any different now as Yuuri rushed to his room with clenched jaws, ignoring the shifty eyes and wagging tongues. It did not help his case that he was to debut as apprentice to the head courtesan of their brothel, nor that the Owner seemed to favour him as well.

He remembered the whispers in the hallway.

'How much?' indeed. How much was his virginity worth to the scum of Shinmachi? He was curious, but at the same time repulsed by the very idea. Chills ran down his spine and he had to take in a stuttering breath to try and focus at the task at hand.

He had wiped off the sweat from his body and now, he looked at his reflection in the mirror and saw nondescript brown eyes and pale skin. He turned his head this way and that, objectively scrutinizing to figure out exactly what it was about himself that seemed to lure customers in. He looked too pale, he decided. He could imagine Minako berating him, his ears ringing with the imagined scolding already so he applied just a hint of rouge across his lips.

Yuuri scrunched up his face and tried to concentrate on breathing as Minami brushed his hair until it shone. He reached up and tugged at his fringe. The front part of his bangs was short and curled with a life of it's own and he would sometimes slick it away from his face and yet at the back, his hair fell down to his waist, the strands long and soft and dark as midnight.

His thoughts drifted back to Yuuko's fretting. He already knew who was primed to win the bidding and it made his skin crawl just thinking about it. His skin broke out in gooseflesh even though it was too warm in the room.

"Yuuri," Minami whispered.

He just shook his head to show nothing was wrong. He gasped as Minami hugged him from behind in an attempt at comfort.

"It will be okay, Yuuri," the smaller boy whispered against his back, the promise already broken the moment it left his lips.

"Thank you, Minami," Yuuri patted the boy's hand in an awkward attempt to reciprocate.

"Let's go. We don't want the guests to wait."

oOo

He was on his way to the large banquet hall reserved for special occasions. From outside the latticed window and across the street, he could see other courtesans already on display at the _harimise,_ the wooden cages. And he was reminded of how much he loathed and detested the cages. The courtesans stood proud and alluring, beckoning to the passions of the filthy pigs ready to throw money in exchange for their tainted lusts to be sated. It was a working display of peddled flesh that made bile rise up in Yuuri's throat every time he saw it.

He hated what it symbolized, and he hated that soon he would be part of that debauchery as well. He used to be indifferent to the open perversion that was the basis of everyone's livelihood in the district. But now, nausea worked its way up his chest as the sight of the cages inadvertently reminded him that he only had a week of this distorted version of untouchedness he had left.

He did not mind entertaining the guests with music and dance _that much_ , nor did he mind earning his lodgings through manual labour _at all_. But the price he has to pay is high, and even though Minako treasured him and treated him well, a debt owed was a debt to be settled and the only way he could pay it was with his body, or his life.

Whichever claimed him first.

Which in the grand scheme of things was ironically pretty much the same thing, he mused deprecatingly.

And so, here he was, tutored in the finer arts just so he can be initiated into a perverted world where his body was the prize and the money he earned would help to lessen his debt miniscule by miniscule amounts.

It was said that sometimes a courtesan worked all their life and still could not pay back the debt they owed.

A cold chill ran down Yuuri's spine at the thought and he bit his lip and drew blood.

The neighing of horses outside the gate of their brothel jarred him from his dark thoughts and he peeked outside, curious despite himself. The moon was full and bright, lending ample illumination to see the walkway leading to the entrance.

He saw a cloud of silver hair waft down from the carriage in a trail of gossamer and a deep chuckle that drifted up to him and tickled his ears.

 _Silver?_

He couldn't believe his eyes and stood on tiptoes, trying to get a better view but the group had already disappeared over the threshold.

He remembered his joking taunt to Yuuko just now and he squashed the tiny gleam of something warm blooming in his belly.

"Yuuri?" Yuuko appeared behind him and he looked at her from head to toe. She had the classic beauty that was popular and it was no small wonder why she was highly sought after. She held herself regally, as if a queen by her own right. Which, she actually was. The deep reds and yellows of her kimono and the trinkets in her hair all spoke of the wealth and prosperity of her _danna_ , her patron.

"You look stunning as always, Onee-san," Yuuri whispered. She took a step towards him and laid a hand on his cheek.

She smiled at how her apprentice was dressed down with a simple purple kimono topped with a patterned robe. Yuuri kept his fringe pushed away from his face and the longer strands at his nape were tied into a braid that was draped over his shoulder. She mentally shook her head at how much different Yuuri was to the others who lived for clothes and ornaments and the latest fashions and yet he could outshine them all wearing even the rattiest robes.

Her eyes turned serious and Yuuri noticed the shift immediately. He steeled himself, knowing what was to come.

"Yuuri… about the mizuage…."

Yuuri's eyes shut close and he took a deep steadying breath that knifed up his chest.

He did not want this, did not want to show anyone just how terrified and just how broken over the upcoming debut he was.

"Nishigori-sama is willing to bid and try to win,"she whispered in the silence that followed.

His eyes flew open as tears threatened to fall against the corners and his face visibly crumpled in shock.

No. No. No. No.

 **NO!**

His mind played an endless string of denials at Yuuko's suggestion. He could not even wrap his mind around the thought of Yuuko's patron trying to bid and win.

He blinked, trying to focus on anything that his vision filling up with tears allowed. He saw Yuuko's fists held tight at her sides, her nails digging into the palms. Enlightenment filled Yuuri in that instant.

Ahhh… of course.

 _Of course_ this was causing Yuuko pain as well.

"Onee-san, I couldn't… don't… don't do this… please..." Yuuri begged brokenly. And he knew without a doubt what had driven Yuuko to do this, that _he_ had driven her to this corner with his moping around and avoidance of the topic. What she must have gone through to approach her own patron, the reason she was leaving Shinmachi to live a normal life and leave all the debauchery behind, and ask him to bid for Yuuri, he could only imagine. But he could not dare to taint the most precious thing she has right now, even if it meant the respite that he had so desperately wanted.

"But Yuuri…." Yuuko leaned up to plant a kiss on his cheek. "As long as it is you…"

The smile that he gave her in response was sad yet infinitely gentle. "Arigatou," his voice rumbled in his throat. "I appreciate the sentiment but I couldn't do that, Onee-san."

 _I couldn't do that to you._

"Oh, Yuuri," she leaned their foreheads together and they couldn't have been more bonded as sister-brother in that moment. "Just remember that the offer still stands. In case you change your mind."

She gave him a searching look.

He could only nod in return, the words stuck in his throat, his lips unsure how to give shape to the emotions he was feeling.

oOo

"Ah finally, our most prized jewel and her apprentice makes an appearance~" Minako enthused brightly as Yuuri entered the room behind Yuuko. He snuck a suspicious glance at the Owner and the bowl of sake she was holding and the tell-tale flush on her cheeks.

Seated at the table were two guests, an older man with a beard and grey hair who sat at the head of the table, and a much younger man who had his long locks tied up on a ponytail on top of his head, who sat on the old man's right side. His hair was indeed the silver-blond that he saw when the guests arrived and he felt a quiet itch in his palm that wanted to test if it felt as soft as it looked.

"A pleasant evening to you." Yuuko murmured as she settled on the older man's left and Yuuri was forced to settle beside the older man's right side, and inadvertently, beside the young man as well.

He took his cue from Yuuko and he whispered "A pleasant evening to you," unsure whether the foreigners even understood Japanese even as he made a small, polite bow.

"A pleasant evening to you, too," came the quick reply. Yuuri could not help his jaw dropping as he considered whether he misheard the words that escaped the young man's lips. And then he made his first mistake.

With jaw agape he turned up to look straight into bright blue-green eyes that were wide with something half akin to wonder and laced with curiosity. Long and heavy eyelashes as pale as the young man's hair framed those exquisite orbs and Yuuri could not look away as the man blinked once, twice.

His eyes traced the straight line of the man's nose and down to rosy lips that were curled into a half-smile. He watched dumbly as the smile faded and a pink tongue darted out to lick at the bottom lip.

"Ah, maybe my Japanese is not so good. I am sorry. Please don't take offense." The accent was stilted and off, heavy and yet strangely enthralling. Yuuri felt the man's voice wrap around him and he could melt on the spot just listening to him speak like that.

Yuuri finally snapped back to his senses when Yuuko shot him a look from behind her fluttering hand fan. He tried to remember how words formed on his tongue.

"I…. uh…."

How did that work again? Words? Speaking? It was a difficult feat to accomplish when the pretty man was still fixated on him, questions playing at the edges of his eyes, the little smile now back and playing on his lips, as if in invitation to speak more.

The young man blinked. And Yuuri blinked back. And then Yuuri was torn whether to keep on staring at his beautiful eyes and the shadows his lashes cast against those perfect cheekbones or on his pretty lips shaped into a heart-shaped smile.

Yuuri's brain was trying to catch up to the images his eyes were sending in quick, rapid succession, unable to properly process everything.

He was still busy trying to figure out how it was possible to have a smile shaped like a heart when Yuuko coughed from the other side of the room, a little loudly this time.

With a jolt, Yuuri finally came to his senses and scrambled to form a coherent response. "I think your Japanese is very good. It's amazing that you have such a... good grasp of our language" Yuuri breathed out lamely in a rush. He looked down at his lap and frowned. When did he start wringing his hands on his lap and make a wrinkled mess of his kimono?

He groaned inwardly, wondering why he chose _this_ kimono, now of all times. It was purple and drab; the dye had long faded from the brilliant color it once was. Yuuko told him they were expecting royalty, right? He should have dressed _up_ and not dressed down. It's not that he had nothing more presentable to wear; he was just that stubborn. And so, he could only blame his stubborn self who seemed so intent on avoiding going out of his way to please customers.

Yuuri dared to look up from underneath his lashes and what he saw took his breath away for a second time.

There was a faint flushing of pink on the man's cheeks, whether from embarrassment or pleasure at the praise, Yuuri wasn't sure. But he looked lovely like this, seemed to look lovelier the longer Yuuri looked at him.

"Thank you. I have heard a lot of things about your country. That is why I insisted that we explore the city while we had permission to go around."

Yuuri was not sure about what to say in response to that. It feels like his brain had short-circuited and needed a complete overhaul. All the training Minako and Yuuko put into him flew out the sliding doors the moment he saw those deep blue eyes that he can drown himself into. He was so out of it he even _forgot_ to panic as the situation spiralled completely out of his control.

Yuuko cleared her throat and gave a shy giggle, subtly taking command of the situation.

"Apologies for our rudeness as we have not been able to introduce ourselves yet."

Minako seemed to have come to her senses as well, her attention riveted on the exchange between the two men, her gaze indecipherable. "This is Count Yakov and his nephew, His Royal Highness, Prince Victor from Russia."

She gestured towards Yuuko and introduced her as the brothel's head oiran, and to Yuuri as her apprentice-in-training.

"Yuuri," the blue-eyed man repeated wonderingly.

Yuuri decided then and there that one of his favorite things was hearing his name on the young prince's lips.

"It is an honor to meet you, Victor-sama," the brunette murmured. And despite himself he wondered how much of that was lip service, the response automatic when introduced to some high-ranking official, and how much he actually meant this time.

The heat in his cheeks have already betrayed him and belied the real answer.

"Yuuri is a much anticipated addition to the ranks of the courtesans here in Shinmachi," Minako whispered, as if letting them in on a little secret. "He will be debuting in a week's time, so play nice okay?" With that cryptic phrase, she hastily made a retreat, leaving the guests with the courtesans' expertise.

Yuuri flushed to the tips of his ears. Well, he definitely did not want to talk about that _now_. And Minako even dared to leave after innocently dropping that bomb in the room.

There was a question in the angle of Victor's head and he was alternating his gaze between Yuuri and Yuuko, as if an answer can be found in between the two of them. "Debut?" Victor had his head tilted to one side, as if trying to figure out what a debut was for.

Yuuri could barely hear Victor's soft spoken question over the roaring in his head.

Yuuko laughed nervously. "Maybe Victor-sama can know more about that er- uhm… practice in the... future."

"I see." It was obvious that Victor did not see at all but he had seemingly accepted this evasion of the topic. It was so polite and considerate of him that something warm in the depths of Yuuri's chest started to unfold.

Yakov seemed primarily uninterested in the conversation, helping himself to more sake as Yuuko poured generously for him.

Yuuri regained his bearings once more and offered to refill Victor's cup as well and Victor smiled gratefully at him.

A lovely flush settled on Victor's cheeks as the night wore on with each sip of sake he took. The prince's drinking stamina was nothing short of amazing and as Yuuri refilled each cup, he could also feel the man's gaze linger longer and longer each time he thought Yuuri was not looking.

Yuuri felt hot and bothered and extremely self-conscious under Victor's lingering stares. And he could not help but steal his own glances of Victor, watching the soft glow of the lamp play across his features. He looked so pale and fragile and beautiful and Yuuri's throat ran dry when he snuck a secret glance at that solid looking chest, those well-formed arms and those strong looking thighs.

Where Yuuri was lithely formed to the point of being almost thin, Victor looked well-built and Yuuri was sure the way the uniform clung to the prince's chest was a sin.

It was an unsettling impression for Yuuri to have of someone he had just met, to feel the initial pull of desire so strongly that he felt unlike his normal self.

Yuuri might have lived in the brothel more than half of his life and he was certainly not an innocent in what happens in the brothel, as untouched as he was, but he was not acquainted in feeling the first stirrings of arousal blossom in his chest and crawl towards his gut.

Was this what they felt like, those men who chased and paid after pleasure night after debauched night? Was this the feeling that created the existence of the entire red-light district? Yuuri wasn't sure but he certainly could not find anything dirty, or lecherous about what he was feeling towards Victor.

It felt like something good, instead of something to be ashamed of.

Victor looked every bit like the prince in his red military uniform with the gold padding and the gold accents on the collar. He wore a coat of arms on his chest as well and it gleamed in the warm glow of the lamp.

"Вкусно!" Victor was feasting on katsudon among a few other things that Yuuko has ordered for the guests when she found out they had not had a proper dinner yet.

"Kus...Na?"

Yuuri wanted to crawl inside a hole when he realized how ineloquent that sounded.

Yuuko was shooting him knowing _and_ reproaching looks _again_.

"It means delicious in Russian~ Yuuri, Ahh~ is this what gods eat?" Victor seems to have adapted quickly to the chopsticks as opposed to Yakov's grumbling with the heathen things. Yuuri pretended not to notice Yakov's annoyance as Yuuko tried to teach him how to eat without spilling the whole bowl over himself.

"I don't know about the gods but it seems like it is definitely fit for a prince," Yuuri teases, a little bit amazed at his brazenness.

He was not usually so receptive. A few customers let on that it was his reservedness that made him popular even before he has debuted, like a secret that will slowly unfold in time.

"So it is! So it is!" Victor happily announces as he plucks a stray grain of rice off his face and licks it off his finger.

Maybe it was the nimble tongue that peeked out to clean the proffered finger. Maybe it was the sultry look Victor threw underneath eyelashes at half-mast at Yuuri and held his gaze captured as the moist muscle darted in and out quickly like an illusion: Yuuri was unable to look away. Maybe it was the oil from the katsudon that made Victor's lips glisten, beckoning, in the light. Or maybe it was the tension that had been gradually building up in their tiny corner ever since Yuuri sat beside Victor.

But whatever it is, the faint stirrings of desire has already uncurled and reached up to threaten to choke Yuuri with just how much he _wants_.

Yakov cleared his throat.

"I heard there are good kabuki theatres here? I was thinking it would be good to see what one looked like while we're in the area. Well, Vitya?"

But the alcohol seemed to finally get to Victor was he looked like he was a few seconds away from dozing and falling onto the table in front of him.

Yuuko offered to accompany Yakov; she can go with Minako and maybe they can show him more of the district. Yuuri decided that the old man seemed to have no interest in bedding anyone. He just seemed to want to take a look around and partake of as much food and alcohol as he could. Yuuko would be safe especially since Minako is coming along with them.

"Yuuri, maybe you can help Victor-sama to one of the vacant rooms while he sleeps off the alcohol? We will be back with Yakov-sama later and then they can go back together to where they are staying."

Yuuri's eyebrows shot up at the suggestion.

He? Together with Victor? Alone? But before his thoughts could get carried away any further, Yuuko added: " _Minami_ can help you take Victor-sama."

There was a knowing smirk on Yuuko's face that made Yuuri's chest itch and he struggled to keep a straight face on and not squirm at being caught.

Honestly, Yuuri did not mind having a chaperone at all. Well, not much, just a little bit, maybe.

And so, on wobbling gait, Victor was led by Yuuri and Minami to one of the corner rooms, away from where most of the nightly activities went on. Victor changed into a kimono behind a folding screen and Yuuri wished his eyes could see through the barrier. He could only see the shadow from behind the paper panels and his throat burned as he wondered if the rest of Victor was just as pale as he looked like clothed.

Victor stepped out from behind the screen wearing a deep blue kimono, the knot tied lopsidedly and one end of the robe threatened to fall off his shoulder. He had let his hair down and the platinum strands framed his face, making him seem like an apparition in the soft candle light. It suddenly felt so much hotter in the room now and Yuuri wondered if Victor was even aware of his disheveled and alluring state.

"Yuuri~," Victor whined. "S- sleepy..."

He decided that it was probably just because Victor was drunk and as the prince collapsed on the futon, Yuuri smoothed out the covers around him. Victor turned to his side and reached out to trace the back of Yuuri's hand with a long and elegant finger.

Yuuri flinched, his hand moving away on instinct. Victor mumbled an apology and Yuuri wanted him to take the hastily whispered _sumimasen_ back; he didn't want the prince to feel sorry for touching him.

"N- no… it's… just…. not allowed." Yuuri whispered back in explanation.

 _Yet_.

The unspoken word hung heavily in the air.

Victor's eyes shone with quiet understanding in the dim room. Yuuri watched, transfixed as Victor's hand peeked out once more from underneath the covers. WIth bated breath, Yuuri waited for what he would do. His thumb and forefinger pinched at the edge of Yuuri's sleeve, clinging, as his blue-green eyes looked up to Yuuri's chocolate ones as if asking, _is this okay_?

New warmth flooded into Yuuri's chest as he gave a small, shy smile and nods, his gaze fixed on the way Victor holds onto his sleeve like it was the only thing anchoring him to safety.

"Don't go?" Victor whispered against his pillow, a pink flush visible on his cheeks even in the dim light.

"I'll stay," Yuuri affirmed.

And as Yuuri shared a glance with Minami who hovered unobtrusively at a corner in the room, he realised he did want to stay, and he did want to spend the night with Victor. Just like this was nice enough.

It's not like there was anything more he could hope for.

* * *

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! Please let me know what you think. This work is also posted on AO3


	2. Second Night

_Note of caution_ : some mild mention of attempted rape occurs in this chapter

* * *

Time would not keep still, no matter how much Yuuri wished for it to go just a bit slower, for the lone candle in the room to burn just a little while longer. Victor's steady breathing was audible in the dimness. In the corner, Minami had dozed off to sleep as well and Yuuri had to quirk a small smile.

So much for having a chaperone , he mused.

But then, he was not even sure if Victor wanted him in that way—a physical meeting of their bodies. He was not sure how much of the sexual tension he felt earlier was a mirroring of Victor's own. It could have just been his own imagination, his own pent-up desires finally catching up to him.

How amusing was it that one of the most sought after in Shinmachi, Yuuri, the untouchable, now wants to hold someone who is way out of his reach.

Maybe Yuuko was more to the prince's tastes , he thought deprecatingly.

In the red light district, it was not difficult to find something to cater to one's tastes. Men and women were available aplenty. And Yuuri was just one of the many faces - bodies - to choose from.

In a way, he was lucky. Minako teased him that after his mizuage, the requests for him would surely be even more full than it was now. But he still could not stomach the thought of spreading his legs for filthy pigs to rut and sate their lusts in him.

Victor stirred in his sleep and turned to his side, his hand clutching a fistful of Yuuri's sleeve. It took Yuuri's breath away again, looking at the sleeping man, his hair spilled around him like moonlight, effectively distracting him from his dark thoughts. His free hand twitched and inched closer. He snuck a glance at the sleeping Minami and finally, finally, gave into the urge to touch a stray lock lying innocently by his knee.

He twirled the strands around his finger and tested the texture with his thumb. It felt as soft as it looked and Yuuri wondered what would happen if he sifted his hand through the length of it, as if petting Victor. And then what would happen if he grabbed fistfuls of those platinum locks and held Victor in place as his mouth would descend and—

The sound of voices approaching from the hallway cut that line of thought short and Yuuri dropped Victor's hair as if caught doing some unspeakable act. Victor's nose scrunched up and he groaned as the shoji slid open a couple of inches.

Yuuko peeked in through the gap. "Is—?"

And Yuuri was so, so sorry because Victor was waking up, and had let go of his sleeve. He was rubbing the sleep from his eyes, his hair spilled in wild abandon over his shoulders. Yuuri swallowed hard as the robe slipped off one shoulder.

"Yuuri?" The prince's voice was thick and clogged with sleep and Yuuri had never heard his name sound more erotic.

"Victor-sama, Yakov-sama is waiting outside in the carriage," Yuuko said from the doorway.

"We'll leave you to get dressed." Yuuri gathered himself up and it took a tremendous amount of willpower for his gaze not to linger on Victor looking so warm and inviting on the futon.

They waited in the corridor until Victor stepped out, dressed once more in his gold and reds, a little bit disheveled with the top buttons of his shirt undone, but all the more appealing to Yuuri. He had not bothered to tie his hair up and Yuuri kind of wished that he has offered to do Victor's hair for him. God knows how many times he had done the same thing for Yuuko, and it would mean he would be able to feel those gossamer-like wisps against his fingers one more time

Yuuko led the way to the main entrance with Yuuri, Victor following behind him. As Yuuko turned the last corner, Yuuri felt a slight tug on his scalp and he half-turned to see Victor hanging on the end of his braid. A bright flush spread on Yuuri's ears as he saw Victor copying his earlier actions, running the dark locks between his thumb and fingers, twirling the midnight strands with his forefinger.

Yuuri's tongue tripped over words as he sought to give a decent excuse for what he did in the room, his frazzled brain unable to come up with anything but the honest truth—that he wanted to touch and feel . And before Yuuri could embarrass himself further by giving a pitiful and implausible excuse, all words died on his lips as Victor asked, "May I?"

Yuuri thought that Victor can do anything he wanted to him, anything, just, please . Victor's voice made his defenses weak.

All that Yuuri could utter was a weak croak at the back of his throat and Victor seemed to take that as a yes.

And then the handsome prince with the bright blue eyes brought the tip of his braid to his lips and kissed the bound strands. Victor held his gaze as those pink lips grazed fondly over his hair, the contrast between the dark lock and the pale skin highly pleasing to Yuuri.

Victor might have caught him earlier but he was showing Yuuri that it was okay—that it was more than okay—and that he might just possibly reciprocate what Yuuri was feeling, if just to a certain extent.

Victor bent down and teased the lock of hair he held against Yuuri's lips, as if painting them with the color of Victor's own. A delicious shiver ran down Yuuri's spine. He had never kissed his own hair, the idea ridiculous in itself, but it seemed so intimate, knowing where those wisps were just before touching his skin. The flush in Yuuri's ears has spread to his cheeks and neck, coloring him in a deep cherry blossom shade. His only consolation was that Victor was also blushing brightly himself, the pink dusting had crept to his nose and down his neck and into the vee of what Yuuri could see of his chest.

Yuuri's eyes snapped back to the prince's face, eyes wide. In slow motion he saw Victor's face descend as his whispered in Yuuri's ear, his voice low, accented, and reaching deep in Yuuri's gut.

"May I see you again, Yuuri?"

"Ye- Yes," Yuuri breathed out in a rush. He did not even have to think about it at all, the answer automatic and heavily loaded with what his heart desired.

And just like that, he was gone, their minute of privacy ending with the footsteps of Victor walking away from him.

It took a few seconds for him to get his bearings and then Yuuri hurriedly rushed to the gate after the man, but the carriage was already pulling away into the street.

"Are you okay?" Yuuko asked behind him.

Yuuri still felt flushed and hot but he nodded. His heart was still pounding in his temples and there was a slight stitch at his side.

"Yuuko nee-chan. He was… He was—" He paused, unsure how to describe Victor and these feelings that were too much for him to take in all at once.

"Interesting? Different?" Yuuko hedged. "Beautiful?" There was a teasing tone to her voice now and Yuuri inwardly groaned, knowing that Yuuko might not let him hear the end of it once she finds out about his not-so-little crush.

He was…," Yuuri trailed off lamely once more, the influx of adjectives dying on his lips and making their home in his chest.

He was _perfect_ .

oOo

Yuuri turned the corner, meaning to drop by Minako's quarters before he returned to his room. He stopped in his tracks, voices leaking from within the thin walls and reaching him where he stood, unnoticed.

There was a loud bang on the wooden table and the clatter of porcelain and Yuuri winced, deciding that he didn't want to get involved in whatever was going on right now.

"Are you keeping Yuuri from me?! How dare you!" A familiar masculine voice shouted. A sinking feeling settled in the hollow of Yuuri's chest as he realized who Minako's guest was. He sank further in the shadows, afraid to even move from the spot lest the two people in the room notice him.

Minako's soft voice floated towards him. "Matsudaira-sama, I'm not keeping Yuuri away from you on purpose. He is just too popular and he has already been requested for the entire week while you were away with your father." There was a pregnant pause while the other man assimilated this information.

"Tsk. I"m still not happy about this. Father will still hear about it."

There was a rustle of papers in the silence that followed. "I'm pretty sure there are far more important matters for Matsudaira Sadahiko-sama to occupy his time with and he will not trouble himself with lowly matters at Shinmachi," Minako murmured in response, the bite in her words thinly veiled. "Has the issue with the foreigners been settled?"

"How do you even…," The surprise in the young man's tone was evident and then he laughed, highly amused. "They say never to underestimate you, Okukawa-san, and the rumors may just be true."

"Hmmm?" Her response was noncommittal, if not bored.

"We are still awaiting word from Edo. Those Russian bastards better not get it into their heads that Japan will agree to enter into a treaty with them. One word from the Shogun and we will drive them out of our shores immediately and with force if necessary." There was unmasked pride and a tinge of violence in his voice that grated on Yuuri's nerves.

Yuuri worried his lower lip with his teeth. This was probably classified political information freely exchanged right in front of him and he was not sure what to do with this tidbit of knowledge. Only the young prince came to mind and he fervently hoped that wherever Victor was and whatever he was doing now, he was fine.

"Anyway, Okukawa-san, about the mizuage, we both know who won the bidding right?"

There was another long pause in the room as Minako took long drags on her pipe. When she spoke, her voice sounded teasing to the untrained ear.

"Matsudaira-sama, I don't think there is anyone in the whole of Osaka who can outbid your family in anything."

The condescending tone was lost on Yuuri as well. A cold sweat ran down Yuuri's spine and he walked away without hearing another word. Here was definite proof that it was indeed that bastard who bidded the highest for him—that bastard who two years ago had relentlessly courted him, had been all but gentlemanly, and in one drunken breath had pushed him down and ripped his robe open, eyes and hands and mouth hungrily devouring him until Yuuri's screams had alarmed everyone within hearing distance and had pulled the man away from him.

It was the same bastard who had apologised profusely after the incident and persisted in requesting for Yuuri's company—who was helpless and unable to refuse—trying to buy forgiveness back with lavish gifts and trinkets. It was the same bastard who had opened Yuuri's eyes on how truly disgusting the sexual act could be.

Inexperienced as he was, he had seen and heard too much that he couldn't even be considered pure anymore. For in a brothel that specialized in selling pleasure, nothing could remain untainted for too long—his virginity was heavily guarded for the single purpose to be his debut into debauchery. And now, he had first hand knowledge of how it felt to have hands all over his body, pinning him down, searching between his thighs.

And long after the bite marks on his body and the bruises on his wrists had disappeared, Yuuri could still not stomach the idea of lying down with men and allowing them free use of his body.

He reached his room and curled into a ball on his futon, his breaths coming in short painful gasps as he tried to calm the roaring in his ears. His robe was drenched with sweat and he shrugged his arms off the clinging, damp cloth.

One week. He still had one week.

If Minako was to believed, the next time he would be seeing the bastard was at his mizuage. And even while his brain vehemently rallied against the very thought of his debut, he was going to milk the next six nights for what they were worth.

Victor.

Like a breath of fresh air Victor entered his thoughts. Images of the seemingly shy yet beautiful prince flitted through his mind at random.

Victor's pretty smile, blue eyes that reminded him on the ocean back home, silver hair that shone like spun moonlight and felt softer than Yuuko's most prized kimono, Victor saying his name in that foreign tongue—the stress on the R feeling like a lover's trill against his skin—

Victor clinging to his robe because Yuuri would yet to allow him to touch his hand—

Victor asking for permission if he could see him again—

Slowly, his breathing returned to normal, and his heart was beating wildly for an entirely different reason now.

Anticipation uncurled and settled in his chest and for once, Yuuri could not wait for the evening to come.

oOo

That evening, Yuuri was antsy and filled with nervous energy. He loitered in the corridor leading to the main entrance of the brothel as he waited for the night's assignations to begin. Minami passed by him a few times, a teasing smirk on the young boy's lips that Yuuri did not deem worthy of his acknowledgement. His attempts at keeping a straight face only triggered more giggles from the boy.

He was waiting for the sound of the horse-drawn carriage to approach that it completely took him by surprise when Victor stepped over the threshold and they gaped at each other, slack jawed and eyes wide open.

It was pretty obvious from where Yuuri stood that he was waiting for Victor's arrival. He was unable to sit still earlier—he only wanted to know when Victor arrived to satiate the burning need to know —and then he would hide in his room until he was called for.

It was Victor who moved first, taking tentative steps towards Yuuri who seemed to be rooted on the spot. He was wearing a black military uniform with gold buttons and gold linings on the collar and cuffs this time, and Yuuri decided that it was a good color on the pale man.

"Good evening." The small, shy smile was back and Yuuri had to swallow before he murmured a small good evening back.

"Were you…," Victor hesitated and bit his lip, contemplating the question. "Were you waiting for me, Yuuri?"

A deep flush spread on the courtesan's neck and the reply got stuck in his throat.

Smiling sheepishly and a bit apologetic, Victor murmured, "I apologize. I… I did not mean to assume. I just couldn't wait to see you tonight and I thought…" the words trailed off in self-doubt and Yuuri cursed his self-consciousness.

"I- it's okay! I was - I was waiting for you…," Yuuri thought he would die on the spot from his admission. How could Victor look so calm and collected while being upfront with his thoughts?

But the telltale blush on the prince's cheeks told a different story.

"Then, I have to apologize for keeping you waiting, precious one."

The endearment was a little lost on Yuuri as he followed the dusting of pink up those regal cheekbones and it was then that he noticed the dark shadows under the intense blue eyes.

"You seem tired." Yuuri whispered, hoping that this was okay, that this level of comfortable conversation was acceptable between a prince and a courtesan. He had only seen this kind of interaction between Yuuko and her danna and he let himself wonder just a little bit. Maybe—

Victor huffed and Yuuri could barely believe his eyes when those lovely lips curled into a very obvious and very pink pout, effectively shattering the royal facade. "Negotiations that we wanted to settle as soon as possible are not going smoothly."

Victor sighed and added, "We have limited time as it is but there is strong opposition against us. Uncle Yakov is away trying to settle matters."

The conversation he overheard earlier flashed back at the edge of his memory and Yuuri mulled the idea around, wondering if he should mention to Victor what little he knows.

The lapse in their conversation dragged on further and Yuuri lost the opportunity to say anything at all to the prince.

Wordlessly, Yuuri led the way to the assigned room and Victor followed, both a little bit lost in their thoughts. They settled on cushions, a respectable distance from each other, while Minami hovered in the background. The silence between them was thick, though not awkward. Yuuri inwardly groaned berating himself that he was supposed to be entertaining Victor, and maybe divert him from his responsibilities, if just for the night.

But even Victor's presence could not distract him from the anxiousness that had settled in him since morning. That, coupled with the inner conflict between what he wanted to do, what he was allowed to do, and how much physical intimacy he could tolerate has Yuuri's thoughts spinning in a spiral of chaos.

The quiet plucking of the koto pulled Yuuri back to the present. Victor had carried over the instrument to where they sat and he watched the pale, slender fingers ghost over the taut strings wonderingly.

Victor noticed his attention and from underneath eyelashes at half-mast, looked at the courtesan with a gleam of curiosity. "Do you play, Yuuri?"

"I- I do," Yuuri quipped. "I can play the shakuhachi and the shamisen too…"

"That's amazing!" The smile that broke on Victor's face was bright that Yuuri was a bit blinded.

"I want to hear," came Victor's quiet request.

Yuuri realised that here is his chance at showing off to Victor. He stamped down the soft trembling of his hand as he took in the fact that he was going to perform in front of an audience, in front of royalty.

"Yuuko-san is still with other guests." Yuuri pondered this for a few seconds before finally making a decision.

"Minami," he called out to the young boy. Their gazes met and it was enough for the boy to know what Yuuri wanted. It was picture of how much time they had spent together that non-verbal communication came naturally to them and Victor smiled at this show of closeness.

There was a question in the tilt of Victor's head as Yuuri and Minami took the koto from him and Minami took the space behind the instrument.

The brunette felt the prince's eyes follow him as he stood and fetched the shakuhachi from among the other instruments in the room. He settled beside the koto as Minami put on finger picks. The young boy played the beginning notes of the song, his hands playing by muscle memory alone. A burst of pride bloomed in Yuuri's chest as he saw first hand the results of hours of relentless practice.

Yuuri let Minami set the tempo and allowed him a half-minute to get into the music. Satisfied, Yuuri lifted the flute to his lips and started to play the melody, the sweet lilting tune of the flute filling the room. If he kept his eyes open, he would have seen the way Victor's jaw drop as he watched Yuuri, seemingly lost in their little performance.

It was a melancholic and sad song yet beautiful, full of longing and somehow, promise. Yuuri's fingers flew masterfully along the length of the instrument, brow scrunched in concentration. He played and drew out each note with emotion, finding catharsis with each released breath. There was no doubt here that Minami was the accompaniment, a background stage for Yuuri to be the melody, the main show.

He heard Victor take in a sharp inhale as he brought the song to a crescendo, pouring more of his feelings with each blow into the flute. It was almost akin to him singing his heart out from a place deep inside him.

As the final notes died down, enthusiastic clapping filled the room and Yuuri finally allowed his eyes to open, chest slightly heaving with exertion. He was a bit scared at what he would see but he only saw pride, wonder and a reflection of the turmoil he was feeling shining in the blue orbs fixated on him.

"That was amazing, you two." Victor's was still hushed with amazement as if, he spoke louder, the moment might break. "It is such a beautiful song. What's it called?"

"It's called 'Moon Drop'," Yuuri replied softly. "Lovers far apart / Both looking at the same moon /Under the same sky."

"How romantic," Victor murmured just as softly, matching Yuuri's tone.

"Yuuri has the stamina to play the flute the longest," Minami whispered, letting Victor in on the brothel's little secret and earning a glare from Yuuri.

Victor laughed at this, his lips breaking out into his trademark smile, "Of course my Yuuri would be the best at playing the flute!"

The courtesan gasped as soon as he heard the words. He bit his lower lip, checking to see if he was perhaps dreaming, but the pain was real and so this was real and yes , Victor has indeed called him His . And rather than being put off by such show of possession, as he was wont to do with anyone else, Yuuri found himself leaning into the echo of the words, decidedly liking being called Victor's.

 _Ore no Yuuri._

Minami coughed in the ensuing silence.

Their eyes met and there was an apology waiting to be spoken in the unwavering blue depths staring back at him. Before Victor could speak again and take the words back, Yuuri allowed his lashes to flutter close and whisper in the coyest voice he could muster, "Your Yuuri, Victor-sama?"

It was the prince's turn to gasp this time, and then flush when he realized Yuuri was teasing him.

"I don't... dislike it…," Yuuri whispered with a small smile, already regretting the words the moment they left his tongue, but unable to take them back himself as he saw Victor flush an even deeper shade.

They were playing a dangerous game in which they both could burn. There was no place for possession and exclusivity in Shinmachi. Yuuri knew this, has known it all his life—but maybe he could dream of a time and a place where they could belong to each other—even though he knew that he was only setting himself up for heartbreak. He's now far too gone to talk sense to himself, anyway.

There was a quiet rapping on the door and Yuuko let herself in with a bow to the prince.

"Are you ready, Victor-sama?"

Yuuri remembered that they were to take Victor to watch a rakugo show. He doubted Victor would be able to fully understand what was going on but Victor had insisted that he wanted to see.

Victor's response was to tilt his head at Yuuri to ask him in turn.

And Yuuri would have preened at Victor's honest reaction, but it was then that he noticed Yuuko's stiff posture and her deliberate avoidance in meeting his eyes and all thoughts of gloating fled his mind.

Oh no .

"I'm sorry, but Yuuri is to accompany Matsudaira Sadamichi-sama for the rest of the evening."

oOo

"Yuuri~," the young master Matsudaira whined, "You're too distracted tonight."

"I've been busy," was Yuuri's unaffected answer. His tongue felt like lead and there was a heavy weight on top of his chest that was annoying him more than the clingy man in front of him now.

The young man shifted on his seat and whispered his name once more.

"Yuuri…"

The courtesan flicked his gaze at him, then refilled his tea cup. The man was not allowed to drink sake in Yuuri's presence any longer, which was pretty much useless as far as Yuuri was concerned. Though sober, he could still see the lust in the gaze directed at him. How was he even expected to lie with this man in exchange for the few hundred yen he was going to be bought with?

"Is the tea not to your liking, Matsudaira-sama? I brewed it myself."

Yuuri saw the flash of fury brought on by desperation in the young master's eyes as he took a sip of the green concoction. Yuuri had to remind himself that he should tread carefully with this man who belonged to one of the most powerful families in the region.

He had been getting away with his slight rudeness and cheek simply because the man was still completely enamoured with him but one wrong step and Yuuri would definitely get in trouble.

"Yuuri, of course the tea you made for me is perfect, just as you are."

He dropped his gaze and hid his lower face with his sleeve, pretending to hide a non-existent blush.

"I am pleased to hear that Matsudaira-sama." Yuuri wondered briefly how it was possible for him to continue speaking without retching his guts out.

"About your mizuage…"

Alarm flashed in Yuuri's eyes. He did not want to talk about it now of all times and with this bastard too.

"I'll make it good for you, Yuuri. Won't you forgive me for my past behaviour?"

He sat frozen in place, unsure how to respond without angering the man in any way. All the training he had undergone had not prepared him to handle this conversation.

"I'll get you anything you want, Yuuri. Do you want new kimonos? Some trinkets or jewelry?"

It was bad enough his virginity was to be bought by this man. What made it worse was that he was trying to buy Yuuri's forgiveness too. The last thread of control holding him together snapped. He tried his best to school his features into a calm mask.

"There is no need for lavish gifts, Matsudaira-sama. The others will get jealous."

"But I want to spoil you, Yuuri."

Yuuri did not want any of that, though, and he just shook his head.

He felt before he saw the man try to hold his hand and Yuuri squeaked and clutched his hand to his chest, eyes wide with surprise and fear.

"There's no need to be shy, Yuuri. In a week…"

Yuuri cursed mentally. He couldn't even handle this man's touch on his hand, not now, and not in a week's time. There was a noticeable difference, however, in the way he shied away from Victor's touch and the way he balked at the very idea of being held by the young master.

Yuuri stood up and the man looked at him in surprise.

"That will be all for today, Matsudaira-sama. Pleasant evening to you."

Yuuri all but ran from the room, Minami soon following at his heels after bowing to the man left behind.

oOo

The night was quiet. A lot of the guests have either left or withdrawn to the quarters with their chosen courtesan of the evening.

Yuuri was left alone not knowing what to do with himself so he waited, his fingers fiddling with the edges of his sleeve, wondering petulantly what was taking them so long . His mind was too preoccupied with thoughts of Victor and Yuuko together that it overshadowed any of his current worries and anxiousness. His impatience dragged out each minute longer than it actually was and time seemed to reach a standstill.

The taste of jealousy was flat and bitter on his tongue and Yuuri did not like it one bit. He knew it was pointless to even feel this way but there was nothing he could do to stamp down the itch in his chest.

When Yuuko and Victor came back that evening, Yuuri hid behind a corner unobtrusively, listening to the couple greet each other a pleasant good night. He heard Yuuko shuffle off, maybe to find him, and he only allowed himself to sigh after long minutes have passed. He slumped against the wall, leaning his left shoulder against the wooden partition for support.

He was caught unawares by Victor standing behind him, whispering his name. He turned around, fist against his thrumming heart.

"Victor-sama. Y- you're not supposed to be here."

"I just wanted to see you before I left, and to say good night to you."

"I see." Yuuri kept his gaze on the floorboards. "Good night, then."

He turned his back on the prince, rudeness personified, not wanting the silver-haired man to see the ugly expression he was making right now.

He knew he was being cold and detached and he could feel all his walls coming back up. He just did not know how to deal with this cacophony of jealousy, petty and desire clamouring in his mind.

Victor stepped closer and grabbed a handful of the cloth at his back, voice a little pleading when he spoke.

"I missed you tonight, Yuuri. May I see you tomorrow again?"

There was only an answering silence and Victor stepped closer and rested his forehead against Yuuri's shoulder, his hand still a fist on the shorter man's back.

"I wish you could have gone with me to see the show. I could only understand some parts but Kiku-san was really good. I don't know who the important guest you had to accompany tonight was, but…"

There was a pregnant pause and Yuuri found himself hanging on to Victor's every word.

"But?" Yuuri asked, his voice small and almost inaudible.

"But I was really irritated that you had to see to him instead of going with me."

And Victor was doing it again, being so sincere and upfront with him, without any guise or pretense.

"Tonight would have been better if you were there."

That seemed to push Yuuri over the precipice and he flung himself over the deep end without any regrets.

He spun around and flung his arms around the man's neck and buried his face in Victor's chest and wondering how effortlessly the other man made it seem to put his feelings into words. At first Victor froze, and Yuuri assumed for a panicky second that he had overstepped his boundaries but Victor then visibly relaxed and wound his arms around Yuuri, pulling them flush against the other.

A part of Yuuri warned him that it was dangerous, that anyone could see them like this, but the other part never wanted to leave Victor's arms ever again. He could smell Victor, feel the warm hands splayed gently against his back, tugging him closer. He could feel the soft breaths that were like whispers against his neck and the soft silver strands that were like kisses against his cheek.

When they did pull apart, there was a shy smile on the prince's lips and Yuuri found himself smiling back in return, his insides feeling like mush.

"Good night, Yuuri."

And like that, he was gone again.

In a daze, Yuuri returned back to him room and squeaked in fright when Yuuko greeted him.

"How was the Matsudaira tonight?"

Yuuri shrugged, hoping he appeared nonchalant as he undressed.

"Same as before."

"Victor couldn't shut up about you not being there tonight. It was kind of funny, in a way."

Yuuri turned to look at the woman wide-eyed.

"It was 'Yuuri this' and 'Yuuri that' the whole evening, like, seriously, Yuuri what kind of spell did you put on the man? I think he's even more into you than the Matsudaira who just seems really desperate to get you in bed."

Yuuri flinched at this casual mention of how it was no secret in the brothel how the young master wanted him.

Yuuko observed him carefully, her warm brown eyes shining in the candlelight. "Yuuri, I'm happy that you're finally going out of your shell, and letting someone aside from me and Minami in, but honestly, I'm also a bit worried..." Yuuko bit her lip and Yuuri knew where this conversation was headed.

"Victor mentioned that they were given until the end of the week to leave if agreements have still not been settled between the two empires."

It was the same deadline as his debut. Shit.

"I just don't want your heart broken when Victor leaves. Can you—try not to get too attached? I know you like him so much, Yuuri. But he won't be here to help you pick up the pieces when he leaves."

He knew Yuuko meant well, was only looking out for him like a proper older sister should, but it hurt, god , it hurt so much, to get this talk when he was already half-gone himself, already plummeting headfirst into the abyss.

"Thank you, Yuuko-nee-san" Yuuri choked through the words.

Yuuko patted him on the cheek and left the room.

As Yuuri lay on his futon that night, thoughts adrift, he made up his mind to make the most of what he had left of Victor's time. It was not much, but it would have to be enough to carry him through the lonely years stretching out ahead of him as a courtesan in Shinmachi.

There was no other alternative.

It would have to be enough, he was sure.

* * *

A/N: There's a song on YT from which the song Yuuri plays for Victor is based on. I wish there was a way for me to link it up here. If you'd like to have the link please me * _at_ * me on twitter: chiinoiserie

Thank you for reading c:


	3. Third Night, Fourth Day

Caution: There's a sexual scene at the second part of this chapter, in case that's not your thing. I separate chapter parts with three circles (oOo)

* * *

Yuuko's warnings were still ringing in Yuuri's ears when he got up to prepare for the evening. Minami raised an eyebrow at him as he gently lowered a wooden box piled at the back of his closet. Inside was an exquisite kimono, perhaps the most beautiful among the ones he owned. It may be not up to par with Yuuko's elegant wardrobe but it will have to do. He gingerly pulled it out from the box, fingertips tracing the intricate floral pattern embroidered with shimmering thread on the sleeves. It was a deep blue and when he moved, the embroidery glittered in tiny sparkles across his back and sleeves.

He tried to distract himself from the thoughts buzzing in his head as he washed his body and applied a light oil all over himself, taking extra care with his hands. He told himself repeatedly that it was not because the prince might try to hold his hand again. He sighed, knowing he couldn't fool himself even if he repeated the lie a hundred times.

He changed into the kimono and took care in applying a drop of perfumed oil behind his ears and a light rogue on his lips. Minami braided his hair once more and carefully assembled the long rope into an intricate loop at the top of his head. A simple gold comb and a pin with a blue jewel hanging from the tip held the coiffure in place even as Yuuri tilted his head this way and that while examining himself in the mirror.

"Yuuri, you look breathtaking. Victor-sama wouldn't be able to take his eyes off of you."

The older boy blushed. It had been his end goal all along, and Minami saying it so openly made him feel a bit embarrassed and yet, excited. He wanted to give the prince more memories to remember him by, especially when they are to be far apart soon.

When Yuuko called for him that night, she told him that they were going to entertain a group of businessmen who were visiting the area. Yuuri tried to ignore the sinking feeling of disappointment as he and Yuuko went through the motions of entertaining strangers. They were too loud for Yuuri and he just gritted his teeth as he poured the sake and played the koto while Yuuko danced. The smile he put on was more strained than usual and it was hard to miss the sympathetic look Yuuko threw at him a couple of times.

 _Maybe Victor was just running late._

This was what Yuuri told himself as he danced in turn and played the shamisen too. He tried to imagine it was Victor with the shy smiles and the bright eyes who he was playing and dancing for.

But after the designated time has passed and the businessmen were well on their way home, there was still no sign of the prince. Yuuri sincerely hoped that nothing had happened to him. But more than the concern was the niggling feeling of disappointment at the broken promise and Yuuri was annoyed with himself for even feeling this way. He remembered that he never really acknowledged Victor's asking for permission to see him again today and he was so sorry that he had taken the prince's words last night for granted. He also remembered the dark shadows under the prince's eyes that spoke of fatigue and overexertion.

With heavy feet and an even heavier heart, Yuuri made his way back to his room. As he slid under the covers, he chided himself. Really, he only had himself to blame. At the back of his mind, a tiny voice murmured that Victor might have finally gotten tired of him and cast him aside. But Yuuri could not bring himself to doubt the sincerity in Victor's earnest and longing looks at him.

He'll make it up to Victor, somehow. And convince the prince that he has chosen right in Yuuri.

oOo

 _He was dreaming but he didn't care._

There was Victor, spread out on his futon, beckoning to him with a finger to come closer. He was dressed in nothing but a loose, thin robe which didn't really hide much of anything. Yuuri swallowed thickly as he crawled on his hands and knees towards the pale man and he was being pulled in, their mouths meeting hungrily in a battle of tongues. The flavor of Victor was rich in his mouth and made his taste buds sing. Before he knew it, he was disrobing the man, pushing aside the white cloth and flipping him on his stomach, his hands running through every inch of skin. He tweaked the crested nubs on the man's chest and growled as he watched the prince's back arch gracefully into his touch, legs tangling in the sheets.

It was the needy moan of his name that undid him, and he was spreading those well muscled cheeks apart and rubbing his dripping cock over that quivering, puckered entrance. Even Yuuri was surprised at himself as he nudged Victor's knees apart, opening him up further.

And then a strangled moan ripped from Victor's throat as Yuuri sank into wet, blissful heat—

Yuuri choked himself awake with his own breath and he sputtered as he rolled over and hid his face in his pillow. His face felt hot and the dream was too vivid—it was as if he was really there, fucking Victor into the sheets and— _ohmygod_ it was too early in the day for this.

His arousal begged for attention as it jerked against his belly and Yuuri made a garbled sound as he took it in his hand and began a slow, sensual stroke. He was not a stranger to pleasuring himself but he only did it more out of a bodily function rather than a deep-seated need—and only when necessary. It was different in so many ways now, as he dragged the skin up and down his engorged cock and he bucked into his hand, straining for more. He closed his eyes and it was all too easy to see bright blue eyes, and a sensual tongue licking at plump lips. Lips that he would love to be wrapped around his aching cock right now. Long silver hair he would entwine around his fingers as he guided Victor in pleasuring him.

He mewled needily, just wanting to reach the peak soon, and fast. It wasn't hard to find his climax at all. Victor's moans, thick and heady, guiding him, the need he was feeling clearly mirrored in those azure orbs; the slide of silver satin strands, cool and tantalizing, on his hot skin as Victor dipped his head once more and—

And Yuuri was rutting into his fist, his other hand clamped down on his lips to keep the sounds from escaping his throat. His hips paused in their awkward thrusts as Yuuri was suspended in that boneless moment before release, and he soared higher and higher before he finally crashed, spilling on his hand, a single name on his lips.

oOo

Yuuri fell back into a dreamless sleep soon after that. It was Minami who woke him up, a little before noon, telling him Minako wanted to see him as soon as possible. Yuuri felt disgusting and he needed a bath but he decided he can go for one later rather than keep the Owner waiting.

So it was in that disheveled state that he went to Minako's quarters, robes loosely hanging on his body, smelling like musk, pretty sure that Minako wouldn't mind. She had seen all of the courtesans in different states of undress at one time or another. His lower lips were still a bit swollen from when he bit them this morning and he licked at the slight stinging as he slid the door open, stepped inside, and what he saw made him want to run out the door and make himself even halfway more decent than he was now.

It was more of shock rather than self-restraint that held Yuuri rooted to the spot as he took in Victor, looking at him heatedly over the rim of the teacup he was sipping from. Minako arched an eyebrow at him and gave him a look from head to toe and Yuuri trembled.

"I- I apologize for not being presentable. I- I- didn't know..." Yuuri snuck a look at the prince again and he was still looking at Yuuri with eyes that seemed to devour him whole and Yuuri flushed.

"You're to accompany Victor-sama for the afternoon, Yuuri." There was a secret smile in the corner of Minako's mouth that Yuuri did not miss, but had him even more confused about the situation. It was midday and no one in their right mind would entertain at Shinmachi at this ungodly hour of the day.

"Wha—? I don't understand."

"I'm giving you permission to accompany Victor-sama for the afternoon, Yuuri."

Yuuri looked at Victor, searching for answers in him. Victor seemed to take pity on his confusion and said, "Would you like come with me to see the ocean, Yuuri?"

He must have looked like an idiot standing there, gaping like a dying fish in the middle of the room. This was unheard of. Courtesans were not allowed outside the walled city and to think he was going to spend the entire afternoon with Victor outside of the red-light district was like a dream come true. He could still feel Victor looking at him and he is suddenly unable to look back, eyes shifting around the room restlessly. Memories from that morning were still fresh in his mind and his skin prickled with shame at what he had done with thoughts of Victor in his mind.

Feeling more self-conscious now about his half-naked state more than ever, Yuuri pulled the robe tighter against him, lowering his eyes to the floor as he answered Victor's question. "I will tell Minami to get ready…"

If Yuuri thought nothing would shock him more than having an entire afternoon with Victor outside the brothel, then Minako's next words gave him something close to a heart attack.

"There is no need for Minami to accompany you. We're short on staff to prepare for tonight. There is work to be done here."

Yuuki sputtered at this, making the most undignified noise, as he tried to form a coherent train of thought to answer the Owner with. Her sigh, though, silenced the din in his head.

"However, Yuuri…"

His eyes met with Minako's intense one and he easily read the warning in her eyes. He gave a small jerk of his head to let her know that he understood, and with a hasty bow, stumbled out of the room. He knows what that look means, didn't need the command to be spoken out loud.

 _Behave_.

oOo

What happened next was a blur for Yuuri. His mind was awhirl with jumbled thoughts as he dressed up in a navy blue yukata and wooden clogs. Minami helped him braid his hair again and Yuuri let it fall at his back. He still couldn't believe this was really happening and it was the sight of Victor, clad in a white shirt and black trousers as he waited for Yuuri by the carriage that drove the reality of the situation home.

 _I'm going out with Victor-sama._

He felt giddy as the prince held open the carriage door for him and sat opposite Yuuri. The carriage started to move towards their destination and Yuuri excitedly looked out the window, drinking in the sights. Pretty soon they were crossing the gates of the district and he could not help but make animated noises as he saw the view outside the walls for the first time since he was sold into them.

A quiet chuckle distracted him from the scenery flying past and Yuuri did not realize how tightly he was gripping the edge of the window in his excitement. He flushed and wanted to apologize. He was not being very good company right now, but the laughter playing at the edges of the prince's eyes held the words back and Yuuri just smiled bemusedly in return.

"I'm happy to see you're enjoying yourself."

"It's just been so long since I've been outside, Victor-sama."

"Please, you can call me Victor. You can drop the honorific when it's just the two of us."

Yuuri's breath hitched and his heart did a small jump and lodged in his throat.

"I don't think I—"

"Try?"

Yuuri flushed at the request. "V- Victor…" It was barely a whisper but it seemed to satisfy the silver-haired man.

"Perfect, Yuuri!"

There was the heart shaped smile again and Yuuri suddenly felt like the distance between them was too great. Victor seemed to notice the brunet eyeing the space beside him and he scooted closer to the side and patted the seat beside him.

"If you would like, Yuuri?"

And because Yuuri had lost all sense of self-preservation, and because this was the closest thing to freedom from the brothel that he would ever get, he crossed the distance and settled beside the prince, sitting shoulder to shoulder. He could feel the heat of the taller man rub against his arm through their layers of clothing and Yuuri felt drawn to the sensation.

"This is nice." Victor whispered, smiling at him.

"It is," Yuuri agreed, although he had other ideas how to make it even better.

 _Could he?_ Yuuri mulled it about his head, wondering if he can be so brazen and forward. Minako's warning still rung at the back of his head but they wouldn't be crossing the line, well, not _really_.

"Victor? I.. I want..."

"Yes, Yura?" There was an unnamed emotion in the prince's voice when he added, "Anything for you, just say it."

Yuuri blinked at the name, but he decided he must have heard wrong. He looked down at his lap and slowly brought his hand to pinch at the fold in Victor's sleeve. He heard the other man's breath hitch and Victor turned his hand palm upward on his thigh. Shyly, hesitantly, Yuuri slid his fingers over the upturned hand and glided them to entwine with Victor's.

His face was heating up but he dared to look back at the prince and the look that he saw took his breath away.

"Thank you." The voice was rough with emotion yet Yuuri leaned into it, savoring the way it sounded in his ears. Feeling more brazen, he turned his head until it was resting on Victor's shoulder. The other man stiffened for a quick second before ultimately relaxing and daring to lean his head against Yuuri's—a gentle weight that felt very much welcome against him.

"This is very nice," Victor concluded and Yuuri couldn't agree more.

oOo

Victor helped him down from the carriage and there was no hesitation this time when Yuuri took his hand. Nor did they break apart once they were walking along the beach, the comfortable silence between them only punctuated by the rolling of the waves. Finding a spot, Victor laid out the cloth he brought along and they sat, gazing out into the horizon. The blue-green of the ocean was so much like the aquamarine depths he saw whenever he looked Victor in the eye, that Yuuri had to swallow thickly. Instead of voicing out his thoughts, he opted for something far more safer.

"It reminds me of home," Yuuri whispered.

"Where is home?"

"Hasetsu. It's a small town by the sea. My family ran—runs a hot spring inn."

"It already sounds lovely. I'm sure you miss home a lot," Victor's voice has dropped an octave.

Yuuri could only nod in response, his lip quivering. When he dared to speak again, he sounded more composed than he felt.

"Wh- where did you learn Japanese?"

Victor cringed at the question and sparked Yuuri's interest more. The platinum haired man dropped his eyes to his feet and avoided looking at Yuuri's eyes even when Yuuri tightened his grip on the man's hand.

"A few times, the empire caught Japanese fishermen off the coast of Kamchatka and some of these fishermen were brought to Saint Petersburg to teach the language and culture. Saint Petersburg is where I live…," Victor gnawed at his lower lip and still refused to look up at Yuuri.

 _That… that actually explained a lot_ , Yuuri thought.

"Victor, I won't get angry at you for something you personally did not do. Look at me?"

And because Victor couldn't deny anything Yuuri asked of him, he raised bashful eyes and only saw affection in the brown eyes meeting his gaze.

A gusty breeze blew around them, whipping Victor's hair about and they both laughed at the resulting disarray. Yuuri tucked each stray strand into place and even he was amazed at how natural it felt to touch Victor like this.

"I… really like your hair. It's beautiful."

Victor reached up to tug at his ponytail. "Father has been going at me forever to cut it."

Yuuri looked horrified but the melancholic smile on the prince's face stopped him from saying anything.

"There are a lot of things that my father wishes I am, but I'm not." Yuuri correctly guessed that Victor had a lot more to say and so he just gave another reassuring squeeze and Victor gave a small smile of gratitude back.

"He sent me on this… expedition… with Uncle Yakov so I can at least do something worthwhile with my life. And I know that once all this is done and I'm back home, I'll just be sent away again. Maybe to Europe for studies, or maybe to another country here in Asia." Victor's voice was tremulous. Yuuri wished he knew how to soothe the pain that was clearly emanating from Victor now.

"Is that why you've been losing sleep and looking tired all the time?"

The smile he got in response was watery. "Mhm. I'm still sorry I couldn't come to you last night. It was just very important to make this treaty work before we get sent away."

"I understand."

"Thank you, Yuuri. I guess my father just wants me to do something he can be finally proud of."

"But you're his son." Yuuri exclaims, a bit offended on Victor's behalf. Shouldn't that be reason enough to be proud of him?

"I'm not the kind of son he wants… or anyone would want, Yuuri." And the brunet wondered if this was the reason for the touch of loneliness he always felt when he was with Victor.

"I'm different." There was a bite in the prince's voice now, a tinge of anger.

"Different in what way?"

"I won't be able to give my father heirs to carry on the Nikiforov name. I can, I guess, but I won't do it. It's not my… preference." Victor waved his hand vaguely, as if that could encompass the weight of his words.

 _Oh._

And Yuuri felt like he could understand Victor's plight more than anyone, living in the brothel like he did. He has heard a lot of talks from the other courtesans, about men who preferred the same gender, but were married with families. He may not know firsthand how it was like to deal with such situations, but he knows that Victor was suffering and it was important to soothe his pain right now. Besides, he was hopelessly attracted to Victor, too. It may not be the same thing but it still had the flavor of forbiddenness nonetheless.

"I hope Japan signs the treaty with your country," Yuuri says fervently. "So you can go home to your father as a son he can be proud of, and then you can live your life the way you want."

The smile that broke on Victor's face was genuine this time. "I would like to settle in Europe one day."

"What's Europe like?"

And Victor started to tell Yuuri all about the countries a continent away, leaving Yuuri enthralled with images of a life so different and so far removed from his own. And with each place that Victor described, Yuuri became a little more subdued. Victor paused halfway in his description of Paris, his free hand thumbing Yuuri's cheek softly.

"Tell me what's wrong? Was it something I said?"

"It's just…," the brunet leaned into the touch, uncertain how to explain what he was feeling. _You'll be there and I'll still be stuck here, in the Shinmachi, a glorified whore._

"C- can you promise that you'll think of me sometimes?" The words were out before Yuuri could stop himself and he froze, waited for Victor's response.

"I'll be thinking of you all the time, Yuuri." He didn't realize that he had been holding his breath until he let it go. It was Yuuri's turn to give a watery smile this time and Victor's thumb brushed at the corner of his eye to quell the threatening moisture from spilling.

"Yuuko told me you don't like talking about it but…"

 _Ahh, he knows_ , was what Yuuri thought.

Yuuri allowed the tension from Victor's question to leave his body. He had been nothing but honest and open with him and Yuuri wanted to meet him halfway. "Alright, what do you want to know?"

"She already explained to me what it was and how it works."

At first, Yuuri didn't understand what Victor was trying to ask him without words. And then he realized that Victor was not asking anything in particular of him. Anything Yuuri was willing to give him, he would take. And for once, Yuuri wanted to try sharing that part of him. If he couldn't open up with this man beside him now, he wouldn't be able to find anyone else worthy of sharing it with.

"I used to be indifferent to that aspect of being a courtesan. I mean the sex. It was meaningless and I didn't care much about it. But then, a couple years ago, one of the customers, a persistent one, got really amorous and… pinned me to the floor…"

Victor growled at this and Yuuri found himself basking in the sound. "Were you hurt, Yura?"

There it was again, that name.

"N- not much. I recovered quickly. But… afterwards…" Yuuri dropped his gaze from Victor. It was too much to look into those eyes while he admitted his darkest secret.

"Afterwards I became scared of the act itself. Of… of intimacy. I also realized that I am a man, after all, and I don't relish the thought of laying on my back and playing the role of a woman… And being… submissive..." A courtesan who couldn't sleep with customers was a joke. Yuuri knew this but there was nothing he could do to stop the anxiety clawing out of him whenever he thought about his mizuage.

"And the fact that it is the same bastard who won the bidding makes me…" Yuuri paused, overwhelmed by his emotions. The only indication that Victor heard him was the tiny growl at the back of the prince's throat.

Yuuri could only watch dumbly as Victor slowly brought the hand he held to his lips, slowly, slowly, giving Yuuri enough time to pull back should he decide he didn't want it.

And when Victor's soft lips grazed the knuckles over and over, Yuuri's voice hitched not because of fear or disgust but because of the tenderness blooming in his chest.

"I've been thinking, Victor… Maybe... Maybe…."

 _Maybe if it was you_.

But Yuuri knew that saying the words out loud was cruel and unfair, because Victor would not even be around to test the waters with him, so to speak. And he couldn't be sure either, that he wouldn't freeze up even in Victor's arms.

There is a hint of blush on the prince's cheeks that had Yuuri tilting his head in curiosity.

When Victor spoke, the blush bloomed and spread to the tips of his nose and cheeks. "I heard that it can also be ah— pleasurable," Victor's voice broke at the word, "for the receiver. With the right partner and er- preparation." By now, he was flaming red all the way to his chest.

Yuuri's brain really did freeze up at the words, and he was in a scramble at what to reply.

"H- how— H- have you ever—?

Victor ducked his head to hide his burning face.

Yuuri whispered, a little pleadingly, "Victor? Tell meee…"

"I didn't actually.. Have sex yet… ohgod." Victor hid his face with his free hand and he would have used both his hands if Yuuri hadn't stubbornly held onto him.

The silver haired man peeked from his fingers and squeaked when he saw the brunet leaning in close, trying to peer at him, eager to hear more.

"When I was sent to the royal court, I was infatuated with one of the older princes. We just fooled around, I guess? He did tell me in so many words what he wanted to do, we just never got around to actually… doing it."

Victor's eyes clouded over, reminiscent of stolen kisses and furtive touches, clumsy groping, heated words whispered in his ears, and evenings sneaking around the palace. They were never found out but it was an awakening for Victor and afterwards, he had a talk with his father.

"Mitya is married now and it was probably just a game to him."

"Mitya?" Victor doesn't miss the way Yuuri frowns at the nickname.

"Ah, Dmitri's diminutive. Mine is Vitya. It's like how someone will call you Yuu-chan, maybe?"

Yuuri colors at this, hearing how Victor easily says his childhood nickname. No one has called him Yuu-chan in years and it was nostalgic and brought forward memories of home.

"It's also how I would call you Yura," Victor adds and Yuuri gasped.

So that's what the name meant, he realised. The irritation at the other man's nickname fades into something different: a quiet thrumming in his chest.

 _Yura._

"I like it," he confesses.

Victor flushes pink and says, "When you're more comfortable you can call me by that other name too."

 _Someday_.

He could only nod in response. They were silent afterwards, slowly digesting the facts they have learned about the other. The silence was broken by a flock of seagulls that flew overhead and Yuuri's lips split into a grin.

"It's been so long since I heard them." His voice sounded mesmerized by the sound. He stood up and walked on the sand barefooted, drinking in the scenery, laughing at the way his toes sunk into the wet sand. Victor followed him soon after toeing his shoes off and folding his pants to his knees.

"I wish I could fly home too." Yuuri whispered, more to himself as his eyes followed the path one lone gull traced in the sky until it landed on the shore. He knew that Victor heard it as well. He saw Victor pick something up and slip it into his pocket but he soon forgot about it. They ended up wading in the shallow waters, playfully splashing each other, until Yuuri yelled for ceasefire.

"Stop, Victor! Stop! I can't go back to the brothel drenched! What will Minako think?" And Victor really did stop, then, properly chided, but still grinning. Yuuri tore his eyes away from the way the white shirt clung to Victor's chest, wet in certain places.

Victor looked down at his sopping chest and tsk'd laughingly at Yuuri. "Look what you've done to me. Now I'm in need of a bath, Yuuriiiii."

He was just too adorable, Yuuri decided. But now he was all to aware of his straggly braid laying lifelessly in clumps at his back and the stickiness at his legs, arms and face from the seawater.

"Me too. I'd like to have a bath too" Yuuri whispered shyly, the response catching Victor by surprise.

"Yuuri, you—?"

"I heard of a bath house near the area." The courtesan's face was on fire and he nibbled on his still swollen lip. He looked up at the prince, shocked into silence and lowered his voice so it was sultry, inviting. He threw caution to the wind.

"Would you like to go to a traditional bathhouse with me, Victor?"

* * *

A/N: I had to chop up the chapter into two parts, whoops. I didn't realise that three scenes in my story outline would take so many words. Then again, things keep popping up in the story that were not originally there. I feel like Yuuri and Victor are really trying to make this thing work out between them ^^;; Coming up is the bath house scene (fans self)

Thank you for taking the time to read this. It means so much to me.

Also, Happy Birthday, Yuuri!


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